Welcome, dear parental units! You’ve survived diaper changes, temper tantrums, and the horrors of potty training. But now, you face the ultimate parental hurdle – setting up parental controls on an iPad. Fear not, for I, your tech-savvy savior, am here to guide you through this labyrinth of the digital age.
Why Bother With Parental Controls?
Remember the time you let your kid play with your phone and found yourself with a new subscription to a llama farming magazine? Yeah, that’s why. Parental controls allow you to limit what your children can access on their iPad, helping you keep them safe online and ensuring you don’t end up bankrupt from virtual llama investments.
Step 1: Find “Screen Time”

First things first, let’s navigate the wild jungle that is the Settings menu. Tap on ‘Settings’ (the grey icon with gears), then find ‘Screen Time’. It’s not a new Netflix series, but it’s equally binge-worthy for us tech nerds.
Step 2: Turning On The Magic… I mean, Parental Controls
Once you’re in ‘Screen Time’, tap ‘Turn on Screen Time’, then ‘Continue’. When the iPad asks if it’s for you or your child, resist the temptation to lie about your age and select ‘This is My Child’s iPad’.
Step 3: Set Downtime (Or, How to Ensure Bedtime Isn’t Tech-Time)
Next, you’ll see ‘Downtime’. It’s not naptime for iPads, but the digital equivalent. Here you can schedule a time period when your little darling can’t use certain apps. Select ‘Set Downtime’, and choose the time frame. Remember, this isn’t for your downtime. Your iPad doesn’t need a spa day.
Step 4: Manage Those Apps (AKA: The Virtual Babysitter)
Under ‘App Limits’, you can decide how long your offspring can use certain apps. Be it social media, video games, or llama-breeding simulators, you’re in control. Tap ‘Add Limit’, then choose the app categories you want to manage, and set time limits.
Step 5: Content & Privacy Restrictions (Because the Internet is a Jungle)
Finally, you’ll want to control the content that your child can access. Tap ‘Content & Privacy Restrictions’, enter a passcode, and toggle the switch to green. And no, ‘1234’ is not a good passcode, even if it is your kid’s bedtime.
Conclusion: Embrace Your Inner Tech Guru
Look at you, mastering the arcane arts of parental controls like a true wizard of tech! You’ve just taken a giant leap into the digital age, ensuring your child’s iPad usage is safe and appropriate. No more accidental llama magazines, no more late-night gaming sessions. Just remember, this power should be used wisely. Resist the urge to use these skills to limit your spouse’s Candy Crush Saga sessions. I mean, unless they really need an intervention…
So, stand tall, parents. You’ve added ‘Tech Guru’ to your parenting resume, right next to ‘Boo-boo Healer’ and ‘Monster Hunter’. But remember, while technology can be a jungle, it’s also an adventure. Enjoy the ride!